Autism Toddler and a Plane…Who is to Blame?
A mom and her autistic toddler were thrown off a plane. Is it a big deal? In my mind…yes. But I don’t know what is right in this situation. There are several versions of this story but most state that it all started when the flight attendant requested that the mother move the carry-on bag from under the seat to the overhead compartment.
The mother stated that the flight attendant made matters worse when she continued to touch the child.
But the mother, Janice Farrell, told Crump that the flight attendant made matters worse.
“She kept coming over and tugging his seatbelt to make it tighter, ‘This has to stay tight.’ And then he was wiggling around and trying to get out of his seatbelt. And she kept coming over and reprimanding him and yelling at him,” Farrell said.
The problem escalated to the point that the boy was on the floor rolling around. The pilot then turned the plane around (it was still on the runway) and the two were escorted off the plane.
My son has thrown a fit on a plane before. In fact, he threw a fit because he could not get up and go to the bathroom during landing. He also had a night terror on a plane before (and that was horrible).
When Autism and a plane collide and the plane and its workers win out who is to blame? Is it the mother who is frustrated with her son’s behavior, the toddler who is acting uncontrollably, or the staff who is rough with the toddler?
But, the real question is…would this happen if the child did not have autism? Would they kick him off the plane if he was a normal child and did not calm down?
Should people who work with the general public be educated on how to “deal” with children and people with special needs? Or should children be forced to conform to societal rules like this? Can they conform?
I am positive that my son can not conform to the rules because things like tightening the seat belt would send him over the edge. Having a pilot talk to him would frighten him (but he would laugh). Having me ask him to calm down would only make things worse…
What would happen with your children?
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:01 pm
My oldest son, Matt, celebrated his 9th birthday in Walt Disney World. We left to come home that evening. He was fine, he even got to go into the cockpit (PRE PRE 9/11) but he was nervous and didn’t say much. He wasn’t very verbal at the time at all anyway, but he was obviously overwhelmed. The flight attendent was telling him how he should say thank you and all that. I finally told her he wasn’t trying to be rude. He is autistic, but she didn’t care. I agree completely with you about training in dealing with special needs children. And as a mom of a child (actually 2) on the spectrum, I would have told the flight attendent right then and there about the autism and that if she continues to touch him, there will be a meltdown.
July 14th, 2008 at 6:45 am
“I would have told the flight attendent right then and there about the autism and that if she continues to touch him, there will be a meltdown.”
This is my sentiment exactly. If someone (stranger, friends, family) is about to do something that is going to set my daughter off, I don’t hesitate to tell them not to do it. Every parent, of children with autism and without, has the right to tell someone not to touch their child.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Hmm I’m very glad that I’m reading this now, having returned from England rather than before we left.
Best wishes
July 15th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
If the public were more educated & COMPASSIONATE towards those affected by autism, it would make life a whole lot easier. Since autism is now an epidemic, society is going to have to make some accommodations.
July 15th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Regarding my previous statement…. What am I thinking? From my experience, here in Ohio, people in the “field” (doctors, MR/DD staff) don’t even know how to deal with autism…. How can we expect the public to know anything? I’m trying to find a doctor with expertise in autistic adults in the Cleveland area (no lack of hospitals here!) and can’t find anyone! Guess my son should have been born in 2020, instead of 1987. It is so frustrating!!
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August 20th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I found this article both sad and somewhat discouraging. I am a Special Education teacher and I have taught students with exceptionalities in two states. I currently have only one student on the ASD on my caseload but have worked with many over the years. I absolutely agree that those in the service sector should receive some introductory training to assist in understanding not just people with exceptionalities but skills in de-escalation and conflict management. Of course, we would all agree that the flight attendant should never have touched the boy and the parent should have informed the flight attendant of this at the beginning of the confrontation. However, I must respectfully disagree with the author of this article on one key issue. I firmly believe that your child, and many others, have severe to profound difficulty understanding, accepting and conforming to societal rules and conventions. However, to say that someone cannot do this is beyond me. I have no doubt that experience has shown you to be correct in your assumption but as an educator there is an expectation that I will provide a high quality of education for all students who walk through my door. I cannot tell my boss that some of my students simply do not possess the ability to ‘get it.’ I have to continue to try to find news ways of instructing them and I encourage you to do the same. I respectfully believe you might be surprised to find that your child is more capable than you realize…
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January 11th, 2009 at 10:27 am
[...] The number one reason? Fear of their children coming down with Autism. [...]
February 24th, 2009 at 12:23 am
I’m autistic, and I have flown on planes in my childhood, and the last time I did so was when my grandmother and I visited our cousins in New Jersey, who are now living with us in sunny Florida.
I wish that the mother would have a set of “buzz off” autism cards at the ready, so the flight attendant could understand that her son has it. As for the attendant - she needs to acknowledge that everyone should be treated equally.
March 10th, 2009 at 1:09 am
The flight attendant’s job is to be sure everyone on the plane has the best chance of getting to the destination in one piece. That would include being sure seatbelts are on appropriately. The mother certainly could have explained that her child did not like to be touched, but it sounds as though some commenters think the FA was totally out of line and the little passenger should rule. Flight safety is necessary for everyone, no exceptions — ask the people on the plane in the Hudson. Perhaps the mother could have prepared the child better beforehand.
Someone says: “[T]he attendant…needs to acknowledge that everyone should be treated equally.” –? She *was* treating everyone equally — it’s the *mother* who needs to make that acknowledgement and act accordingly. If her child cannot conform to minimum requirements for the safety of all on board, then they should consider other modes of transportation. ‘Reasonable accommodation’ is not a free pass.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Hey, is there a section just for latest news
April 10th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
jc: She *was* treating everyone equally — it’s the *mother* who needs to make that acknowledgement and act accordingly. If her child cannot conform to minimum requirements for the safety of all on board, then they should consider other modes of transportation. ‘Reasonable accommodation’ is not a free pass.
It is not unreasonable to expect not to be touched by a stranger. It is not unreasonable to expect said stranger to back off if told to. If the seat belt was on and was reasonably snug - and there is no indication whether it was or wasn’t, just that the flight attendant kept pulling it tight, then that *was* meeting minimum safety expectations. The flight attendant was completely out of line.
May 23rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Действительно полезный пост, спасибо.
May 24th, 2009 at 11:25 am
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May 26th, 2009 at 12:47 am
Очень было интересно читать, спасибо!
May 30th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Хорошо что удалось отыскать такой замечательный блог, а то последнее время уже начал думать что инет это мусорка сплошная.